I just have a lot of feelings

Hello, friends. I want to talk about kindness.

On the surface, being kind may seem like the obvious thing to do. I am here to tell you this: being kind is an act of revolution.

From small things like holding the door open for someone, or paying for someone’s coffee who is behind you in line, to donating money for people in need, no act is too small. Random acts of kindness warm my heart and fill me with so much hope for humanity. For a little while I see that yes, we are capable of so much good. We have so much potential to be better than we are. Embracing our emotions and expressing our feelings when everything else is telling us to suppress them is incredibly brave. Letting yourself be vulnerable around others is courageous. Holding others up when they are on the verge of crumbling is in direct opposition to the vitriol that says we should let them fall apart.

I try to be that person. I want to be someone’s safe space and comfort, and make others feel valued. There is too much casual cruelty during day-to-day life to spend my time and energy tearing others down when I could offer a hand to hold or shoulder to lean on. Perhaps I am too aware of this to a fault, because it is nearly always on my mind. I constantly look for ways to put others at ease and take the phrase “Be the change you want to see in the world” very seriously. I am so mortified of the idea of making someone uncomfortable that I rarely initiate anything, which is a ridiculous notion, because these things work both ways, and that also undermines the autonomy of others.

My point is, I want to strive to be better and braver. I want to open up more, and live more vulnerably while also developing a thicker skin. I spend so much time trying to read others’ emotions while keeping mine carefully tucked away so they experience minimal bruising. That makes it difficult to fill my day with kindness, and even more difficult to make new friends when I am worried about seeming too forward or enthusiastic.

I cannot think of anything more admirable or badass than being kind when opportunities present themselves. Even better, create your own opportunities. Surprise someone. Be their moment of calm, even if just for a few seconds. Be a small revolution.