Blog post

A list of things which make me happy

  • Hugs
  • Chocolate
  • Chocolate with peanut butter
  • Peanut butter
  • Coffee
  • Tea
  • Lasagna
  • Pizza
  • I really like food
  • Cats purring
  • Also when cats do that headbutt thing into your hand because they want you to pet them
  • When the scent of the detergent lingers on recently-cleaned bedding and you can still smell it a few days later
  • Petrichor
  • Especially the sort of hugs when you don’t let go after just a couple seconds, but hold on longer and really hold the person (also, because SCIENCE) (but really, touch is my love language, and growing up I was all over my friends all the time, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve had a hard time forming those same sort of connections and I can tell it’s messed with me)
  • Lilies
  • Random acts of kindness
  • MYSTERY acts of kindness, which are anonymous and wonderful
  • Books
  • Daisies
  • Watching people write by hand
  • Getting whiffs of people’s perfume, or cologne, or shampoo
  • Good hair days
  • Watching and listening to someone talk about something they’re passionate and excited about
  • Watching people open presents
  • Vanilla
  • Cuddling
  • When people play with my hair
  • Playing with other people’s hair
  • Ice cream
  • Flirting (although I am probably bad at it, but odds are that I’m probably flirting with you in my own way)
  • Stories that make me feel things
  • Thunder storms
  • Happy endings
  • Getting letters in the mail
  • Pretending I despise puns (10% of me is okay with them) (mostly it’s that I know they’re terrible jokes but I actually find them amusing, and even more funny when people try to annoy me with them because I’m not as irritated as I act) (shhhh)
  • When something I’ve done actually makes a difference
  • Learning new things
  • Seeing people reach their goals
  • When people hold the door open for each other
  • Soft things (blankets, sweaters, jackets) (if you’ve ever been shopping with me, you might’ve lost me for a bit because I stopped to touch all the soft blankets)
  • Comfortable silences
  • Bursting into song
  • Finding an awesome bra
  • Flattering dresses
  • Checking out someone else when they’re wearing flattering jeans
  • Also when they do that thing where they’re wearing a long-sleeved button-up over a T-shirt and roll the sleeves up to their elbows, unf
  • When people are sweet to children
  • When people are sweet in general
  • Cats grooming each other, or other animals
  • Pajamas
  • Over-sized hoodies
  • Cute animals
  • Collaborative story-telling
  • Smashing the patriarchy

Please share your list of happy things, too!

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Blog post

I just have a lot of feelings

Hello, friends. I want to talk about kindness.

On the surface, being kind may seem like the obvious thing to do. I am here to tell you this: being kind is an act of revolution.

From small things like holding the door open for someone, or paying for someone’s coffee who is behind you in line, to donating money for people in need, no act is too small. Random acts of kindness warm my heart and fill me with so much hope for humanity. For a little while I see that yes, we are capable of so much good. We have so much potential to be better than we are. Embracing our emotions and expressing our feelings when everything else is telling us to suppress them is incredibly brave. Letting yourself be vulnerable around others is courageous. Holding others up when they are on the verge of crumbling is in direct opposition to the vitriol that says we should let them fall apart.

I try to be that person. I want to be someone’s safe space and comfort, and make others feel valued. There is too much casual cruelty during day-to-day life to spend my time and energy tearing others down when I could offer a hand to hold or shoulder to lean on. Perhaps I am too aware of this to a fault, because it is nearly always on my mind. I constantly look for ways to put others at ease and take the phrase “Be the change you want to see in the world” very seriously. I am so mortified of the idea of making someone uncomfortable that I rarely initiate anything, which is a ridiculous notion, because these things work both ways, and that also undermines the autonomy of others.

My point is, I want to strive to be better and braver. I want to open up more, and live more vulnerably while also developing a thicker skin. I spend so much time trying to read others’ emotions while keeping mine carefully tucked away so they experience minimal bruising. That makes it difficult to fill my day with kindness, and even more difficult to make new friends when I am worried about seeming too forward or enthusiastic.

I cannot think of anything more admirable or badass than being kind when opportunities present themselves. Even better, create your own opportunities. Surprise someone. Be their moment of calm, even if just for a few seconds. Be a small revolution.