Choosing a word for the year worked out so well for 2017 that I am doing it again for 2018. Thank you again, Carma, for the idea! I stumbled a lot in 2017, and made a lot of mistakes, but I sure as hell had a lot of change, and I’m ready to aim in a better, healthier direction.
My word for 2018 is “strength.”
I want to become physically stronger by improving my health and eating better.
Mostly, I want to grow stronger emotionally and mentally. I need to be more assertive, to take an active role in achieving my dreams, rather than reacting to my circumstances and sitting passively, wishing and hoping and giving up.
I’m just so tired of settling. I’m tired of feeling like I don’t deserve happiness, that I don’t deserve love, or kindness, or comfort. I’m tired of getting in my own way, of the self-sabotage, of punishing myself over and over and over again. I’m tired of hiding, and letting fear guide my choices. I’m tired of feeling invisible, and over-looked, and forgotten about. I’m tired of creating barriers for myself in the name of familiarity and safety. I’m tired of feeling like I have nothing, like the things I can offer are things other people can already provide so much better than I can. I’m tired of feeling like a person who is just there.
I need to speak my truths, and stand up for myself. I need to be present, and create my own reality, and shape my own destiny. I need to be active, to find my momentum, to stop giving away my power. I need to seek opportunities and seize them, and stop fearing the possibility of success. I need to conquer my demons, and empower myself to achieve, to create, to build, to accomplish. Rather than being a stubborn bull who refuses to budge, I need to be a charging one.
So, 2018, I welcome you with wide open arms, and look forward to all the beautiful things you have in store for me; more art, more love, more adventure, more power.